If It Hurts This Much, Then It Must Be Love
by VivaLaAmber
Summary: Ok, so who's brilliant idea was it to put a Death Eater in the HQ of the Order of the Phoenix! BCJxOC
1. Here Comes The Rain

_Oh wow, ok, random new idea that just came to me. It's a BCJxOC. I just posted this to see if it really was any good at all, so reviews are needed please :) I don't own anything other than Ava... and her family if I decide to put them in at any point. Everything else is of course JKR's =]_

This place, I realised, was never going to get cleaned up. No matter how hard Mrs Weasley worked herself and her children, Number 12 Grimmauld place was going to stay as filthy as it had ever been, since no one had lived here for years. But, to give them credit, it was looking gradually more civilised. There were layers of dirt and dust that would never come out, but they had certainly been reduced by the constant war between the Weasleys and the house.

The stone steps that led down into the cellar kitchen, however, seemed as if they refused to allow themselves to look remotely clean. Disturbed clouds of dust rose as I put my foot down on each of them, descending into the kitchen.

Hogwarts had just finished for summer a week ago, and so, due to You-Know-Who returning to power and the Order of the Phoenix reforming, Mr and Mrs Weasley, along with four of their children, had come to stay at Grimmauld Place which was now the Headquarters for the Order. I myself, being an Auror, had decided to join.

I wasn't necessarily expecting anybody other than Sirius to be in the kitchen, seeing as everyone was out at work or doing something for the Order. Except for the Weasley children, who were all upstairs. So it took me by slight surprise to see that Sirius was not sat alone, but in the company of somebody who most certainly was not a member of the Order. In fact, he was the complete opposite.

Why the hell was there a Death Eater sat at the kitchen table in the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix? And not just any Death Eater at that, this was the man who had spent the previous school year attempting to kill Harry Potter and had played a major part in helping You-Know-Who return. What the hell was Bartemius Crouch Junior doing here?

I stopped on the last step, looking intently at the Death Eater, then at Sirius, and back at Crouch again, my brow furrowed in confusion. I turned my head, yet again to Sirius and raised an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to mention the fact that there was a murderer sat across the room but Sirius cut me off.

"Yes, Ava, there is a Death Eater sat at the kitchen table." He said, seeming mildly amused.

"But -" I started, but he cut me off again.

"Yes, I know he's a murderer and helped Voldemort return."

"Yeah, but he -"

"Also tried to kill Harry, I'm aware of that, yes."

"So why -"

"Because apparently, Voldemort wants him dead for his failure and Dumbledore has come to the conclusion that he could be an asset to the Order. How he decided that, I don't exactly know."

OK, this was just getting ridiculous. I decided to let Sirius know.

"This -"

"Yeah, I know this is getting ridiculous."

"But how -"

"I have no idea how he could be an asset to us, but he swears he has changed his ways. No one believes him, of course, other than Dumbledore, being so full of trust and feeling that everybody is worthy of redemption."

"OK, what the hell?" I managed to get a sentence out without Sirius finishing it for me, which admittedly was getting progressively more annoying.

"That is all the information I can give you, as that is all the information I know right now," Sirius told me. "While we're on the subject, though, I might as well introduce you both."

While Sirius had been informing me of what was going on, Crouch had been staring at us both, his expression unemotional and unchanged since I had entered the room. "Bartemius Crouch Junior, meet Ava Owen, fellow member of the Order of the Phoenix and quite an accomplished Auror," Sirius said cheerily.

"Hi," I said, turning around to take a look at him. I offered him a friendly smile, but it was not returned. Instead, all I got was a dark glare and a raised eyebrow. "OK, then..." I muttered, turning back round to Sirius, who just grinned at Crouch's lack of enthusiasm towards meeting new people.

"He's not at all happy to be stuck here with us lot," Sirius explained, unable to get rid of his smile. "An out-casted, once loyal and powerful Pure-blooded Death Eater surrounded by Aurors, Blood-traitors, Mudbloods and Half-Breeds. He's almost as upset as my mum right now."

I laughed at that last remark. I had witnessed the portrait of Sirius' mother, which was concealed behind a curtain on one of the hallways, in action. She had been one of those Pure-bloods that hated anyone who was any different. When her portrait is disturbed, her curtains open up and she yells about 'filth' and 'scum' besmirching the house of her fathers and whatnot. And when she says 'filth' and 'scum', she isn't talking about the layers of dust around the place, but the people who were currently occupying her home, which as of tonight, also included me.

"Anyway," Sirius said, changing the subject and rising from his seat, "I'm off upstairs for a while. I'm tired of sitting down here in his company, so it's your turn to babysit him."

"WHAT? Why do I have to stay down here with him?" I asked, utterly disgusted by the idea.

"Because, he's not allowed on his own, therefore he needs to be supervised at all times. I've been sat down here with him for just over two hours and I'm bored. It's your turn," Sirius replied.

He walked out of the kitchen, grinning at his achievement of being free from babysitting, and I sighed as I sat down.

Not knowing how long I'd be stuck down here for, I decided to make conversation and see if this Bartemius Crouch Junior could talk.

"Sooo," I said, "You're one of the good guys now? You've left your old life behind... starting from scratch... taking action for what you've done. Your soul not as dark as it used to be? Washing away the sins? Is your heart not quite as black as what it once was?" I realised I was really mocking him in a way, but I couldn't help myself.

"Are you trying to be funny?" he asked, obviously not amused by what I was saying.

"Dude, I don't even need to try," I smirked. He just rolled his eyes and turned his head away. "So you just gonna sit down here all day? Don't you want to go anywhere else in the house?" I asked, already rather bored of sitting in the kitchen.

"Nope," he replied simply without even turning his head to look at me.

"There's more than just a kitchen, you know?"

"So?" God, it was hard to please this guy. I sighed at his talent for being difficult.

It was at that point, however, when I was saved. Some of the Order members had returned from a mission which meant that I was no longer alone with this, well to put it lightly, boring old fart.

Moments later, Sirius returned with company. Following him into the kitchen were Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, McGonagall and Dumbledore. How come Dumbledore had joined us? I had no idea to be honest. Perhaps he needed to talk to Sirius or something.

"Oh, thank God," I said, a little too loudly, I might add.

"What's up with you?" a grinning Tonks asked, taking the seat next to mine.

"This bloody weirdo that I've had to babysit," I replied, gesturing to Crouch, who had still made no effort to move.

"Oh, come on. I only left five minutes ago," Sirius commented.

"That…" pause for dramatic effect, "is beside the point," I replied

By this time, everyone had sat down. No one, I noticed, had sat next to Crouch. The closest person was Kingsley, who was sat three seats to the right of him.

"How are you enjoying the new company?" Dumbledore asked me. Apparently, I was the last person to know that Crouch would be stuck with us, so everybody had already expressed their opinion on it. Now it was my turn.

"To be completely honest, Sir: he's boring!" I told him. "He sits at the far end of the table away from everyone else, doesn't move, doesn't talk, he's completely expressionless and unemotional. He bores me, Sir."

Why was everyone grinning at me stupidly? Well, except McGonagall. She doesn't know what a grin is. But what had I said that was so amusing? I was being serious.

At this point, however, Crouch turned his head to look at me. Yet again, I got another dark glare from him.

"What?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow at me and shook his head at my reaction.

Hang on, was that amusement I spotted in his eyes. His expression was still completely unemotional, but his eyes showed some amusement. It was only slight, but still, he was enjoying this; enjoying the fact that I was making a complete arse of myself because of him. Brilliant. Well, at least one of us was enjoying themselves, too bad it wasn't me.

The rest of the evening passed rather uneventfully. Dumbledore left about ten minutes after arriving, soon followed by McGonagall, who left twenty minutes after the Hogwarts Headmaster. Everyone else stayed for some food that was prepared by Mrs Weasley as well as some extra people, including Mr Weasley, Bill and Mundungus.

After the excellent meal, a couple of people then left, leaving me, Sirius, Remus, the Weasleys and Crouch. Mrs Weasley sent her children to bed soon after and Remus then left for the night to do some more work for the Order. Mr and Mrs Weasley then bid everyone goodnight and went upstairs to bed, leaving only me, Sirius and Crouch in the kitchen yet again.

It was only 11:45 so I decided it was not yet time to go to bed. I was one of those people that went to bed late and got up early, not really needing much sleep. About three or four hours a night would do me, so I didn't usually fall asleep until two in the morning.

I sighed from sheer lack of amusement. There was really nothing to do at this time of night when everyone goes to bed and it gets way too quiet. So, I decided I should go upstairs to my room for the night. Sirius had allowed me to stay here every now and then when the place wasn't too crowded. Later this week Hermione Granger, one of Ron's friends, would be coming to spend the remainder of the school holidays here, and even later in the holidays, Harry Potter would be coming. I would be going to stay back in my own apartment on the night Hermione came.

"Well, I'm bored," I stated as I stood up. "I'm off to bed."

"At this time?" Sirius asked. "It's way too early for you."

"Ah well. I'm gonna go read or something. That's the only thing possible to do at this time of night and I'm tired of sitting down here in the company of a couple of boring old farts."

"I beg your pardon?" Sirius asked, unable to prevent the raised eyebrows.

"You heard," I said as I walked up the filthy kitchen stairs that led to the main hallway. I climbed up the many flights of stairs up to the top floor, where I was staying. It was only a small room, but it didn't bother me as I was used to it.

My apartment was small and cramped, full of books, magazines, wanted posters and Ministry files and folders. I wasn't exactly a well organised person. That was the reason why the only things I'd brought to Grimmauld Place was a selection of clothes and a single book. I didn't want anything getting lost around the house and getting in people's way, like the Troll's leg umbrella stand downstairs was doing. There was no need for it to be there, but it was always a good laugh every time Tonks tripped over it.

I changed into some night clothes and collapsed on the bed. I lay there for a long time just staring at the ceiling, deep in thought. I realised that there were only two rooms on this floor: the one I was currently staying in, and the one opposite. Considering all of the other rooms were taken, I realised that it must be Crouch's room. '_Great_'_, _I thought, '_I'm the one staying close to the Death Eater. That's just spectacular._'

I sat up on the edge of the bed, picked up my book, and began to read for a little while to pass the time. I was unsure as to how long I was sat there for but I soon heard the creaking of the stairs as Crouch walked up to bed. I knew Sirius would be stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching him enter his room.

I spent the rest of that night lying silently in bed, listening to the sounds of the night. Someone downstairs was snoring rather loudly, presumably Ron. I could hear the noises of nature outside and every now and then a car would pass by the street. And, if I listened so intently, I could hear Crouch heavily breathing next door, quite blatantly deep in sleep.

_-Yeahhh so for some reason, after I edited this, the whole chapter had been written out twice D; I dunno why the flippin' heck that happened but I hopefully fixed it now :') I had no idea about this and for the past two weeks it's just been on here, making me look like an unintelligent twat with my repeated chapter :D Yahh thanks for that, stuuupid story ¬_¬ meh anyways I apologise for the inoconveniance of it looking like a total dickhead of a story by a total dickhead of a writer... which would be meee :)_


	2. Jealous Minds Think Alike

I awoke to the sound of birds the next morning. I looked at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was only a quarter past five, but I decided to get up and get dressed anyway. I decided that Muggle clothes would be best to wear today, as I would be going back home and I didn't want to attract unwanted attention in a Muggle town. Besides, I much preferred Muggle clothing, and Muggle music for that matter. But I suppose that was because I had grown up with it as a Muggle-Born.

The house was deserted as I cautiously walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. No one was obviously awake yet, it was way too early for everyone. I rooted around the pantry looking for something to have for breakfast, finally deciding on a simple bowl of porridge.

Whilst I was eating my breakfast, Kreacher the House Elf entered the kitchen. I looked down at him and gave him a friendly smile.

"Good morning, Kreacher," I said cheerfully.

Kreacher, however, just ignored me and walked to the other side of the kitchen, mumbling to himself,

"Filthy Mudblood speaks to Kreacher as if they are friends. But Kreacher will not associate himself with the Mudblood, no, no. Mistress would be most displeased if Kreacher ever did such a terrible thing."

OK, so the Elf had pretty much lost it and ignored everyone in the house. He basically walked around talking to himself and insulting everyone, and he most certainly did not do any cleaning in the place. He left that to the Weasleys while he tried to steal things that were going to be thrown away.

At that moment, I heard somebody walking down the stairs above me. I checked the kitchen clock and noticed that the time was only twenty minutes to six. Who would be awake at this time? The earliest person to wake up, other than me, was Mrs Weasley, and that wasn't usually until six o'clock, at least. So who was this now descending down the kitchen stairs?

Oh, no way.

Of course, it was Crouch. Just my luck, I'm stuck with him for at least another twenty minutes. Just brilliant. He glanced over at me when he entered, obviously not expecting anybody else to be out of bed.

"Good morning," I said in the same cheery tone I had used when I greeted Kreacher.

"Morning," he mumbled, not really paying any attention to anything as he took his usual seat at the far end of the table. Unlucky for him, however, I was sat not too far away from him; only two seats away but on the opposite side of the table. He didn't seem too pleased, but then again, he never seems to be happy about anything.

"Had a good sleep?" I asked, trying to be friendly.

"Mm-Hmm," he mumbled, obviously not happy about the fact that I was trying to engage in a conversation with him.

"Want any breakfast?" I asked. It was only polite.

"Nope," he replied. I noticed that he was staring at the table in front of him, head resting on his hands, as if his mind was concentrating on nothing else. Why was he being so distant? Well, to be perfectly honest, I had absolutely no idea what was going on in this guy's mind.

A few minutes passed in uncomfortable silence, neither of us knowing what to say. Then, for the second time this morning, I heard somebody coming down the stairs and into the kitchen: it was Mr Weasley.

"Morning, Mr Weasley," I gave an optimistic greeting for the third time this morning. And, for the third time, I did not get an optimistic reply back. In fact, I got a rather sleepy one to be honest. Mr Weasley seemed to be still half asleep when he said,

"Oh, good morning Ava. Are you not at work today?" he asked, seeming slightly jealous of my free time.

"Nah, took today and tomorrow off. I'm heading off back home later on today so I decided to take a couple of days off." I explained.

"Oh, I wish could do the same. We're so busy in my department at the moment though, that we're all having to do extra hours to sort everything out. It's extremely hectic right now." Mr Weasley told me in an exhausted tone.

"Aw, that sucks. Well, if you really need a bit of help, just give me a shout." I said.

"Oh no, I'm sure we'll be OK. No need for you to come in on your time off to help in a completely different department. It's kind of you to offer, Ava, but I'm sure we can manage."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, it'll be fine." Mr Weasley replied.

"OK, then. Good luck with your hectiness today, then." I wished him.

Mr Weasley nodded and smiled, then exited the kitchen and headed towards the front door to leave for work, with a piece of toast in his hands.

It wasn't too long after Mr Weasley's departure that Mrs Weasley and Sirius came down for breakfast. There was something different about Sirius this morning, however. Almost as if he was up to something, and if I was right, I knew that this wouldn't end well.

"Ava," Sirius started, grinning, "got some great news for you!" I wasn't entirely convinced that it would be too great for me, however amusing it was for him.

"What is it?" I asked, not sounding too thrilled.

"You have a mission for the Order. Dumbledore thought it'd be best to pick you."

"Doing what?" I'm still not entirely sure about this at all.

"Babysitting!" Sirius replied.

"Huh?" I had no idea what the hell he was going on about. Babysitting who? What? I was confused to be honest.

"Well," Sirius explained, "seeing as you're the only the person living in an unplottable home, you're the only one who can do it. We need someone to keep an eye on him," he gestured towards Crouch, "without him being in the way of everyone here at Headquarters."

"WHAT!!" I yelled. "No freaking way! I'm not letting _him_ in my home. He's a freaking Death Eater, look at his Death Eateryness. He's not coming home with me!"

"Sorry, Dumbledore's orders. Your place is the only one he can stay at where no one will find him. He can't stay here forever," Sirius explained.

"Well he can't stay at mine forever either," I argued. I was not letting a Death Eater in my home, especially as it was unplottable. "He'll go and tell all his little Death Eater buddies where I live! No way!"

All Crouch was doing at the minute was staring at Sirius and me arguing for fifteen minutes with the darkest look of hate on his face. Obviously he was just as unhappy about this as I was, he was just keeping quiet.

And so, after a quarter of an hour of arguing, some rather violent packing of clothes, unnecessary storming up and down stairs, and random insults to Sirius, an hour later both me and Crouch were ready to head off to my place. Hey, I could be highly immature for a 24 year old when I wanted to. Anyway, I was about to set off for what would be the crappiest few weeks of my life.


	3. We Are The Different, We'll Make A Start

_**FINALLY updated this :D my computers working, sort of :) i need a new one ¬_¬ i really do. ahh well, here's the next chapter. It's only short but don't worry, this story will be getting better :D**_

I currently hate my life. I can't believe I'm stuck with the Death Eater. We Apparated back to my place and considering he had no idea where I live, he had to hold on to my arm for side along Apparition. Ew, that wasn't the most pleasant moment of my life. But, at least it was quick.

We ended up in the back street behind the apartment building where I live.

"Well, here we are," I announced as we walked round to the front of the building. I tried to sound welcoming, but failed miserably.

"So it would seem," was the blank reply I got from Crouch. He obviously wasn't impressed at all by the situation he was in. At least I wasn't the only one. "Where are we anyway?" he asked with mild curiosity.

"Leeds!" I replied with a grin. I love this town; I was born and raised here, and I've lived here all my life. Well, except when I was at Hogwarts. Crouch didn't look impressed. "Oh, you'll grow to love it. Anyway, I guess I gotta tell you where I live and stuff otherwise you can't come in." Not that it would bother me if he didn't know.

"I guess," he said. And so, I told him my address. Which makes him welcome in my home. Sirius owes me big time for this. And come to think of it, so does Dumbledore.

The apartment building is pretty big with quite a few people living there. There's just one problem with it: It goes all the way to Room 22 with nothing wrong. But next to 22, instead of 23, it goes straight to Room 24. Well, that's what it's like to everyone else in the world. But when Crouch and I finally reached the right floor, there it was; Room 23, my home.

"Here it is," I said, as we entered my front room. "It's nothing special really. " My home was pretty simple. The front room took up the whole left side downstairs, containing a purple sofa and chair, TV, coffee table, CD case, the usual really. On the right side, closest to the front door, was the guest room with the essentials: bed, wardrobe, drawers, bookcase, that kind of stuff. It had never been used though seeing as I never have visitors, but it was there for times like these I suppose. Right next to the guest room was the downstairs toilet and at the farthest end of the apartment was the kitchen.

Upstairs was a lot simpler. There was a landing area and a small storage room full of old junk. And then there was my room, which took up most of the space, with an en-suite bathroom. I've never known why I've had two bathrooms for one person living here, a bit pointless to be honest. I showed Crouch around and then he went off to his own room for the rest of the afternoon. I went off into the front room to watch a bit of TV as there was nothing else to do.

I was watching the television, but not really taking any interest in the programme. Instead, I was sat wondering about things; What was I supposed to do with that Death Eater when I had to go out for things? He could'nt exactly be seen in public as he was wanted by both the Ministry and the Death Eaters. But I couldn't trust him to stay here on his own. What was going to happen when I had to go to work or go shopping or something? He'd have to tag along when I had to go to the Order meetings though.

I still want to know what Dumbledore has in store for Crouch. How could he possibly be of any use to us at all?! What the hell is he thinking? Well, I suppose Dumbledore's full of crazy ideas, but he always knows what he's doing. I suppose there's nothing I can do but trust his judgment and keep Crouch living at my place for now. My God, this is going to be one hell of an experience ain't it?


	4. UPDATE AUTHORS NOTES

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to thank all of you who are still waiting on this story.

Thanks for not giving up on it. I am dreadfully sorry for not updating for bloody ages, but just in case you haven't read anything on my profile, I'll do a little update here.

I'm not a fan of updates in the middle of stories and i do apologise for having to do this but I just want to let you all know.

I am currently working on two other stories other than this one: another Harry Potter and a Fruits Basket one.

Neither one has been posted on here yet, evidently so. But, especially the FB one, I want to make sure that the first couple of chapters are decent enough to be read because I really am awful when it comes to writing the first few chapters. I much prefer all the middley bits of the stories to be quite honest :) buut we all know we can't have endings and middley bits without those dreadful begginings. The other HP story I'm working on is really not making any progress at all. The FB one however, I have many ideas for, I'm just trying to figure out how to write them all down properly. I'm in that stage where I'm getting new ideas and scrapping old ones. But at the minute that story is my main priority and not this one im afraid. I am, however, working on a little fill-in chapter just for a little amusment which involves some noodles and maybe a little Jeremy Kyle and Judge Judy xD I'll say no more :') but yes, it's nearly finished and I hope you all enjoy it :) then I'll get back to the main story. Again, I'm really sorry for being so absent. I'm actually putting off college work for this story :) cos college sucks and i cant be arsed with that at the minute ^_^

....stupid college. Anyways, yes, expect another chapter soon and a Fruits Basket story is on it's way too, just in case any of you guys are fans :D

But yes, when my FB one is up, expect that one to be updated more than this one as it's a bit more of a priority to be honest. And for the 1000th time SORRYYYY for been such a noob and not updating D:

Laters guys :)

Amber-Saur

RAWRR

(yes for those of you who have noticed, I have changed my pen name. I'm no longer VivaLaAmber, but Amber-SaurGoesRAWRR)

:)


End file.
